just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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