these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
