her vagine was all disorganized.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
