Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
