I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize