I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
