Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
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