So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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