im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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