I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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