If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
