Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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