I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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