All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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