The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
