What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
