Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
