I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize