Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Randomize
