I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
