using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
