No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Randomize
