why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
