During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
