I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
