It's like God shit irony all over that family
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Randomize
