everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
