She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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