i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
