I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
my poor anus
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize