some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
