Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
