Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
