oh god the rape fog is back!
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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