u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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