Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
