Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
