ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
