Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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