so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
