What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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