if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
