The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
