Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
a search helicopter?!
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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