we have officially lost it.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
