OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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