saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
