i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
