Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
