Do you still have your period?
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
