If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
