Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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