All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
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