im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
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