i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
