One girl and one boy is just not enough.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
