We're facebook friends in real life
I just pynch a tree in the face
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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