apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
