i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
