I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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