I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
