My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Randomize
