I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
i now understand why vodka
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
