at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
His nipple licking is glorious
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