Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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