absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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