Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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