So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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